24 Comments
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Bethany Gwynne's avatar

"fine, don’t think there’s anywhere else though, so let’s just do cuddles at yours" - the ick is IMMEDIATE and it is VISCERAL.

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Ellen's avatar

YES. Thank you!!

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Jaclyn Michelle Smith's avatar

I related to this so much! Thank you for sharing! Dating apps are the WORST of the WORST. I'm no longer on them so just hoping to meet the love of my life out in the real world, which will likely not happen and I'll end up back on the dating sites. I just don't have the energy to swipe.

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Ellen's avatar

Thank you for reading! I think ultimately I’m going to have another break from them — I feel exactly the same. I’m still (delusionally) holding out for a meet cute in a nice little coffee shop though so I’ll keep you informed…

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Mitangi's avatar

Okay but as a fellow millenial girly also in content, you’ve just described my *exact* thought process after I downloaded Hinge a few days ago. What is happening with the dating pool these days?? Even if I wanted to make more of an effort than I ever have before, the men are just not letting it happen 😭

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Ellen's avatar

It is TOUGH out there

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Eleanor Jones's avatar

I felt this! I so rarely make romantic connections with men and so dating apps are exhausting to me! Prince Charming is going to have to come find me because I am too tired to swipe my way into his arms.

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Ellen's avatar

YES

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Luciana Cole they/them's avatar

gods i related to your piece so much. i've been single for almost four years and have been dating around a lot. i love dating i find it fun too but I'm so bored of the dating apps and don't know how to meet new people anymore

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Ellen's avatar

Yesss!! I feel like after a certain point dating apps are just so draining

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Cait On A Break's avatar

Yes yes yes to every single word of this, you are not alone! I get dating app burn out faster and faster these days. I just have no idea how I’ll meet someone when I barely drink and I don’t want to go out to bars or join a random new social club I don’t have time for?!

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Ellen's avatar

It is SO hard! I’m right there with you

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Kirsten Brontmire's avatar

This really resonated with me as someone who has been single for 12 years. It's not the fact I haven't been trying, it simply feels like the dating scene is so judgmental now and I don't have the patience for that.

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Ellen's avatar

Honestly, it is so hard!! Trying to convince myself to put the effort in is effort in itself. Thank you for reading! I’m always glad to know I’m not alone in my thoughts

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Accacia's avatar

Online dating is exhausting for women dating men because in order to enjoy it, you have to be radically honest and being radically honest frightens a lot of men or, at the very least, threatens their idea of control (in my humble opinion as a flirty date-lover who also doesn’t want to suffer in order to maybe have fun)

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Ellen's avatar

I feel like you’ve just spoken to my soul!! Honestly the amount of times guys have said something along the lines of “you’re very direct” (NOT as a compliment) in the past week of me saying what I want

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Accacia's avatar

godspeed, sister. i’m not sure what changed since i also got out of my recent relationship, but before then, being direct was hot! now, being direct ensures your safety and empowerment (also, any guy that makes it past that initial ego wound is usually super hot and awesome).

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Ella's avatar

I’m so glad it’s not just me. A couple of years ago I was so keen to get to know people and talk, my patience was sky high, and now I couldn’t think of anything worse than going on a date and making small talk. Loved this Ellen!! ❤️

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Ellen's avatar

Yesss!! Thank you so much, I always feel like, ever so slightly better about things like this knowing there are others in the same boat 🙃🙃

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Haili Blassingame's avatar

Honestly dating these days feels like having a giant man entering my 500 sqft apartment, knocking a bunch of shit over and leaving lol like get out!!! I was very happy with the 10,000 books on my nightstand and my 300-degree heating pad before you did all that lol

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Ellen's avatar

Hahahaha omg why is this so relatable!!

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The Single Chronicles's avatar

I relate to all of this so much! I decided a couple of months ago that I wasn't going to use dating apps anymore because it's so soul destroying, and I'm much happier for it. But I worry the moment that my love life starts drying up again I'll be tempted to go back on them.

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Ellen's avatar

Yesss!! See I thought I was going to come back to them SO refreshed after my break, but no! Struggle central! We need a support group

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Cait On A Break's avatar

Please start the support group, I beg of you 🙏🏽

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