Thankyou for sharing. I've had/have ZERO plans for ANY weekend in September. I'm late 30s,single, childfree and I live with my parents and our dogs. I'm also navigating a weird, unemployed /solopreneur start up /.... wtf am I doing with my life crossroads! So making any decision at the moment is proving difficult! 🙈😂 But similarly, the staying at home and living slowly...there's not actually anywhere else I'd rather be or be doing. Yes, I think I'm a happier and better human for having more like minded connection in my life but right now...being a bit of a hermit... I think it suits me just fine! ❤️
The “wtf am i doing with my life” crossroads are ALWAYS weird. I’m so glad you’re thriving in it though. I think you’re right, there’ll always be ebbs and flows at different parts of our lives. If September is a free month for you, own it. Love this for you. Thanks for sharing!! And reading 🫶🏻🫶🏻
I totally get what you mean! We live in a big “weekend warrior” community (people going on long backpacking trips over their weekend or drive two hours to go rock climbing, that kind of thing) and my husband and I are SO indoorsy. We try to get out and do one thing so we have an answer to the “what’d you do this weekend” question. (Of course we find this to be helpful for us too because it encourages us to get out at least a little, haha). Thanks for sharing - definitely relatable, especially the part where you fear judgement from your peers 😅
Yesss!! It’s interesting that often indoorsy-ness can be associated with sadness or loneliness, when actually if you’re content with it, there’s no difference from the people who spend their weekends hiking etc! Thanks so much for reading 🫶🏻
I can totally relate to this piece! I live alone (although partnered) and don't have kids. Making plans with friends can be so tricky and I recently started a career break, so I'm home often. It took me time to come to it, but I now embrace solitude and having no plans. I'm fact, I'm grateful for it. I figure not everyone has the opportunity to have that quiet and peace when they choose. I do, so why not fully sink into it?!
Yes!! That makes so much sense. I think, what I realised when I was trying to draft this, was that I wouldn’t feel all that lonely if comparison wasn’t a thing. It’s not even that I’m free, it’s just that everyone else is less free 🥲 Im glad you realised this sooner than I did though! And thank you for reading 🫶🏻
Yes! Comparison is so tough, but I think the hold of it is a little less once you see it. At least, that's how I feel! I hope you enjoy your Friday nights at home to come!
heyyy just wanted to say i totally relate to you but also find peace with my solitude. it's not loneliness per-se, and i love seeing my friends when i get to see them too, even though they always seem to be busy and i'm always the one reaching out to make plans. but i also work from home and sometimes not socializing for a day sends me down a spiral so i just facetime a friend who's on the other side of the world, usually married doing her own thing, and we just gossip for a couple of hours and suddenly i feel better about being alone, on friday nights, like today. It's 6pm, i'm freshly showered and in my pjs, reading on substack before putting on a movie only I wanna watch, and i'm gonna have sooo much fun
I LOVE this!! I also think working from home is such a big factor, I’m exactly the same. If I was going into the office every day I’d definitely relish the time alone more often, I think. Hope you have a lovely night!! And thanks for reading 🫶🏻
Being comfortable with your own solo plans but suddenly feeling quite embarrassed when you have to share them with someone out loud is so real !! I think a lot of people are scared of being alone. So when they see someone capable of enjoying their own company they get triggered a bit. It drives them back to their own incapacity. When you reach the point of enjoying your alone time at home, oh man it’s such a treat… I’m still ashamed when I say that out loud. So I’ll keep saying it until it doesn’t. Thank you for this ;)
Yes, it’s more than okay. I think beneath the veneer of social media, most people enjoy, or maybe even need, a peaceful Friday night to charge up for the weekend. Great piece!
Thank you SO much for saying that!! It's such a weird, vulnerable thing to admit that you don't have exciting plans on a night where it seems like everyone has exciting plans! I'm glad you liked it though, thanks for reading!
I hear you! I was there a couple of years ago. I was living in Canada (I am from Germany) had a decent amount of friends, was single. And even though I had many friends, I sometimes still ended up alone for the entire weekend. I am an introvert, a homebody. And still I wondered if I should be out doing stuff. Now I am living with my husband and we spend 24/7 together. And as much as I love him, I often think back to those days where I had the whole weekend to myself. So my advice is: Cherish it and bask in it as much as you possibly can. It won't last forever. And maybe in a couple of years, you'll be looking back to that time the same way I do now.
Oh I love this so so much!! I keep reminding myself of how different my life was even this time last year, no period lasts forever! Thanks so much for reading, and for your lovely insightful comment 💕
Of course!!! Things change so quickly sometimes and we often don't cherish what we have until we don't have it anymore. Sounds cliché but it's actually so true! Honestly, some of my fondest memories come from that time where I had all the time in the world to myself.
Ah. I find this tends to get better for me after a walk. There's usually something in the evening air that seeps into me, a sort of energy of joy I harvest. And after that, it's back to the house to read or dance or youtube. Used to have a dance class at one point though, so that could be your weekend thing if you like. Then again, I barely see people every day of the week, let alone Friday, so this might be one of those blind leading the blind scenarios.
Particularly with social media and knowing every single detail of people's lives, it can feel extremely isolating to be indoors on a weekend, but i assure you, there's a lot more of us than social media has led us to believe! Absolutely enjoyed this read, looking forward to many more
Very much same “There’s also my lifestyle. I live alone, I work from home, and I’m single. When I was in a relationship, my chronic availability didn’t plague me half as much, because, even when I was at home on a Friday night, I wasn’t alone on a Friday night.”
I wrote a big piece on friendship last week as well & why it’s so hard to maintain friendships in your 30s. How it often becomes a matter of convenience in this era, and how it’s not “bad” per say but it does feel jarring.
Yesss! So jarring, it definitely doesn’t feel like it SHOULD be okay, right? And yet, it absolutely is. Thanks so much for reading! Will check your piece out!
I wonder if other people try to make weekend plans so they don't look like they're chronically available. I intentionally keep Friday nights free for myself to decompress from the weekends, but am usually free on the weekends. When I was living in my hometown, I had the same issue of friends always having plans. It honestly got annoying how I was only able to see them once every few months, so I started spending my weekends going out on my own and posting about it. Soon enough, I had people reaching out to me to make plans instead of the other way around.
being alone is a luxury that alot of people dont have. there are women all over the world wishing they had the freedom and peace that you do. i say take advantage of it and do YOU! seriously dont worry about the opinions of others, thats just gonna drive you crazy every time. if you’re happy being home alone on a friday night than more power to you!
As someone that went through a recent divorce, and lost a lot of my steady friend group, it took sometime to realize that the best company is me. I enjoy when I find company for a drink or a party, but I noticed I also started getting super hyped to spend time with myself. I am literally excited choosing what to cook and watch, or where to go if I am in the mood to get out.
Thankyou for sharing. I've had/have ZERO plans for ANY weekend in September. I'm late 30s,single, childfree and I live with my parents and our dogs. I'm also navigating a weird, unemployed /solopreneur start up /.... wtf am I doing with my life crossroads! So making any decision at the moment is proving difficult! 🙈😂 But similarly, the staying at home and living slowly...there's not actually anywhere else I'd rather be or be doing. Yes, I think I'm a happier and better human for having more like minded connection in my life but right now...being a bit of a hermit... I think it suits me just fine! ❤️
The “wtf am i doing with my life” crossroads are ALWAYS weird. I’m so glad you’re thriving in it though. I think you’re right, there’ll always be ebbs and flows at different parts of our lives. If September is a free month for you, own it. Love this for you. Thanks for sharing!! And reading 🫶🏻🫶🏻
Thanks for the inspiration! I think I'm going to do a mini podcast ep on a similar theme for my own publication and I'll credit you accordingly ❤️😉
Omgggg yes love that, cannot wait to listen!!
I totally get what you mean! We live in a big “weekend warrior” community (people going on long backpacking trips over their weekend or drive two hours to go rock climbing, that kind of thing) and my husband and I are SO indoorsy. We try to get out and do one thing so we have an answer to the “what’d you do this weekend” question. (Of course we find this to be helpful for us too because it encourages us to get out at least a little, haha). Thanks for sharing - definitely relatable, especially the part where you fear judgement from your peers 😅
Yesss!! It’s interesting that often indoorsy-ness can be associated with sadness or loneliness, when actually if you’re content with it, there’s no difference from the people who spend their weekends hiking etc! Thanks so much for reading 🫶🏻
I can totally relate to this piece! I live alone (although partnered) and don't have kids. Making plans with friends can be so tricky and I recently started a career break, so I'm home often. It took me time to come to it, but I now embrace solitude and having no plans. I'm fact, I'm grateful for it. I figure not everyone has the opportunity to have that quiet and peace when they choose. I do, so why not fully sink into it?!
Yes!! That makes so much sense. I think, what I realised when I was trying to draft this, was that I wouldn’t feel all that lonely if comparison wasn’t a thing. It’s not even that I’m free, it’s just that everyone else is less free 🥲 Im glad you realised this sooner than I did though! And thank you for reading 🫶🏻
Yes! Comparison is so tough, but I think the hold of it is a little less once you see it. At least, that's how I feel! I hope you enjoy your Friday nights at home to come!
I wholeheartedly agree! whenever someone asks me if I have any plans for the weekend, I usually just say say “probably reading”
I live in a very relaxed pace on purpose, and most people understand that’s a choice; we often are harder on ourselves than anyone else.
Okay THIS is what I need to be better at, the owning of it
A relaxed pace on purpose, I love that!
heyyy just wanted to say i totally relate to you but also find peace with my solitude. it's not loneliness per-se, and i love seeing my friends when i get to see them too, even though they always seem to be busy and i'm always the one reaching out to make plans. but i also work from home and sometimes not socializing for a day sends me down a spiral so i just facetime a friend who's on the other side of the world, usually married doing her own thing, and we just gossip for a couple of hours and suddenly i feel better about being alone, on friday nights, like today. It's 6pm, i'm freshly showered and in my pjs, reading on substack before putting on a movie only I wanna watch, and i'm gonna have sooo much fun
I LOVE this!! I also think working from home is such a big factor, I’m exactly the same. If I was going into the office every day I’d definitely relish the time alone more often, I think. Hope you have a lovely night!! And thanks for reading 🫶🏻
Being comfortable with your own solo plans but suddenly feeling quite embarrassed when you have to share them with someone out loud is so real !! I think a lot of people are scared of being alone. So when they see someone capable of enjoying their own company they get triggered a bit. It drives them back to their own incapacity. When you reach the point of enjoying your alone time at home, oh man it’s such a treat… I’m still ashamed when I say that out loud. So I’ll keep saying it until it doesn’t. Thank you for this ;)
Love the introspective nature of your writing.
Yes, it’s more than okay. I think beneath the veneer of social media, most people enjoy, or maybe even need, a peaceful Friday night to charge up for the weekend. Great piece!
Thank you!! I think so too, I just need the reminder every now and then, haha
just had a few similar thoughts racing threw my mind!! Friday nights alone can be amazing a day to watch films and/or relax!! You worded this so well
Thank you SO much for saying that!! It's such a weird, vulnerable thing to admit that you don't have exciting plans on a night where it seems like everyone has exciting plans! I'm glad you liked it though, thanks for reading!
I hear you! I was there a couple of years ago. I was living in Canada (I am from Germany) had a decent amount of friends, was single. And even though I had many friends, I sometimes still ended up alone for the entire weekend. I am an introvert, a homebody. And still I wondered if I should be out doing stuff. Now I am living with my husband and we spend 24/7 together. And as much as I love him, I often think back to those days where I had the whole weekend to myself. So my advice is: Cherish it and bask in it as much as you possibly can. It won't last forever. And maybe in a couple of years, you'll be looking back to that time the same way I do now.
Oh I love this so so much!! I keep reminding myself of how different my life was even this time last year, no period lasts forever! Thanks so much for reading, and for your lovely insightful comment 💕
Of course!!! Things change so quickly sometimes and we often don't cherish what we have until we don't have it anymore. Sounds cliché but it's actually so true! Honestly, some of my fondest memories come from that time where I had all the time in the world to myself.
Ah. I find this tends to get better for me after a walk. There's usually something in the evening air that seeps into me, a sort of energy of joy I harvest. And after that, it's back to the house to read or dance or youtube. Used to have a dance class at one point though, so that could be your weekend thing if you like. Then again, I barely see people every day of the week, let alone Friday, so this might be one of those blind leading the blind scenarios.
YES
🫶🏻🫶🏻
Live the life you want, in the way you want! If nights in are glorious for you then that's the way to go!
Particularly with social media and knowing every single detail of people's lives, it can feel extremely isolating to be indoors on a weekend, but i assure you, there's a lot more of us than social media has led us to believe! Absolutely enjoyed this read, looking forward to many more
Yesss!! I think that’s SUCH a big factor, too! Thanks so much for reading 🫶🏻
Very much same “There’s also my lifestyle. I live alone, I work from home, and I’m single. When I was in a relationship, my chronic availability didn’t plague me half as much, because, even when I was at home on a Friday night, I wasn’t alone on a Friday night.”
I wrote a big piece on friendship last week as well & why it’s so hard to maintain friendships in your 30s. How it often becomes a matter of convenience in this era, and how it’s not “bad” per say but it does feel jarring.
Thanks for writing this 💛
Yesss! So jarring, it definitely doesn’t feel like it SHOULD be okay, right? And yet, it absolutely is. Thanks so much for reading! Will check your piece out!
I wonder if other people try to make weekend plans so they don't look like they're chronically available. I intentionally keep Friday nights free for myself to decompress from the weekends, but am usually free on the weekends. When I was living in my hometown, I had the same issue of friends always having plans. It honestly got annoying how I was only able to see them once every few months, so I started spending my weekends going out on my own and posting about it. Soon enough, I had people reaching out to me to make plans instead of the other way around.
being alone is a luxury that alot of people dont have. there are women all over the world wishing they had the freedom and peace that you do. i say take advantage of it and do YOU! seriously dont worry about the opinions of others, thats just gonna drive you crazy every time. if you’re happy being home alone on a friday night than more power to you!
As someone that went through a recent divorce, and lost a lot of my steady friend group, it took sometime to realize that the best company is me. I enjoy when I find company for a drink or a party, but I noticed I also started getting super hyped to spend time with myself. I am literally excited choosing what to cook and watch, or where to go if I am in the mood to get out.